The Surfer

Resilience, Intuition and Reflection as a Leader

A few years ago, I was on a beach in northern California.

It was a cool day - gray and overcast.

I had the beach to myself as I settled in to read a book and listen to the waves thunder onshore.

The Pacific Ocean was living up to its reputation, each wave hitting the beach like a cymbal crash.

I was 15 minutes into my book when I looked up and saw a surfer in a wetsuit paddling out to the wave line.

This surfer fascinated me.

I’ve never stood up on a surfboard on solid ground, let alone in the ocean.

And even with my limited knowledge, I could see that everything he was doing was wrong.

He started paddling too long and missed the waves.

When he popped up on the surfboard, it was just a few seconds too late.

His balance was off.

He would immediately turn right, and the board would rip out from under him.

Wave after wave, I watched him repeatedly try to stand.

Each attempt ended the same way: face planting into the ocean, the surfboard spiraling in the air and ocean water spraying upward in a funnel before raining back down over him.

This surfer was trying so hard.

While I never exchanged a word with this man, I could hear the dialogue in his head:

“Now!, paddle, paddle, paddle!”

“Pop-up now!”

“Drop your shoulder.”

“Bend your knees.”

“Turn right!”

Watching him from afar, it was clear he was methodically working through what he had learned, but none of it was working for him.

Nothing looked natural, and he fought for every move.

It was as if his instructor’s voice made so much noise in his head that he couldn’t hear his own voice.

Have you ever lost your internal voice? It’s like you are drifting without a compass.

He kept making his way down the checklist of what he learned, yet he couldn’t convert that knowledge into a successful ride on a wave.

It didn’t feel authentic to him.

This guy had persistence.

He tried to pop up on his board for over an hour.

After one particularly nasty face plant, he sat on his board.

He stayed there for a long time, his feet dangling over the sides into the cold, marbling water.

He was breathing hard.

His shoulders sagged and he looked rumpled on that surfboard.

He sat still for several minutes, bobbing up and down with the surf.

It looked as if he were giving himself a pep talk for one more wave.

He turned his board and slowly started paddling out to the wave line again.

This time, everything was different.

His body looked relaxed.

Timing was perfect.

He had solid balance on the pop-up.

He turned left instead of right, timing the turn perfectly.

It was as if he told himself, “None of that other stuff worked; let me trust my instinct and act on what feels right to me.”

I never got to speak to the surfer, but his struggle was so vivid and clear to me.

It’s the same set of struggles I help leaders navigate their perfect wave. Including the C-suite.

The first is learning to be aware of and trusting your instincts.

Doubt is common, especially when you are facing a new situation or circumstance.

You mine what you’ve learned, and at a certain point, you have to apply all of that and follow your instincts.

It’s incredibly vulnerable: will you catch the wave or face plant?

Often, leaders look around and question “I’m the best one to handle this?”

Leaders are closest to what is happening and have the best understanding of the situation.

Trust your instincts and keenly observe what happens so you can make real-time pivots when needed.

Second, leaders need to PAIR persistence with resilience.

Failing and making mistakes is a part of leadership.

The only shame that should come with failing is when we don’t take time to learn from the mistakes and failure.

These are some of our best development experiences.

Learning how to navigate through them and not be depleted requires a combination of self-care, reflection, and mindfulness.

The best leaders cultivate resilience and keep coming back to try different paths to success.

They know that failure is part of the journey and growth occurs from each attempt.

Third, leaders need dedicated time to reflect.

Reflection provides insight on what works and doesn’t and leads to growth.

It helps build awareness of instincts and what feels right vs. forced or inauthentic.

It helps internalize what to do differently in similar circumstances.

Reflection and intentions provide strategy and a plan.

The key to reflection is to dedicate time to it each week on what works and doesn’t

On that final attempt, the surfer rode his perfect wave all the way to shore.

He hit the sand, picked up his surfboard and carried it to his car with a big smile on his face.

That wave worked for him because he shifted his focus to what felt genuine to him.

Instead of fighting the board, he moved with it.

He learned to read the ocean and trust his instincts.

Pausing and reflecting let him recognize what he was doing felt too forced and he should try something different.

Leader’s surf metaphorical waves each day.

Their success in riding them comes from a combination of their resilience, reflection, and intuition.

What is your perfect wave?

How do you trust your instincts, cultivate resilience, and intentionally reflect on your growth?

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