Off The Mat

Have you ever heard the phrase, “The way you approach things on the mat is the same way you approach life off the mat?

My friend Susan Harrow, a gifted Media Coach and PR Professional, lives this out in her coaching daily.

A black belt in Aikido, all five feet two inches of Susan can knock you flat with one swift movement.

Aikido is a martial art that teaches you body management, and mental techniques to defend yourself without hurting your partner.

She has spent years not only training her body, but her mindset.

Susan helps CEOs, Entrepreneurs and Athletes navigate interviews on national news programs.

Just like you learn strategies for your opponents in Aikido, techniques and skills have to be practiced for successful media appearances.

Any time someone is scheduled for a big interview for Oprah.com or a national news spot, they have to know how to land their message in seconds.

Not only is their brand at stake, so are future media opportunities.

Mess up and not only are you ridiculed on social media, but you are never asked back.

Many of these appearances book with just 24 – 48 hours’ notice.

Just like you can’t learn martial arts in a day, you can’t perfect your message in 24 hours.

Susan works with people well before these big media placements, so they are always prepared.

Her approach to media training is unique because of her Aikido background.

She has learned the way people approach the mat is the same as how they approach life off the mat.

The person open to trying things is open to experimenting off the mat.

Inner-voice telling you that you suck on the mat?

That same voice echoes in your head off the mat.

Don’t have a plan or a strategy for your opponent?

That same lack of plan or strategy gets you into challenges off the mat.

Within moments of meeting someone, Susan can immediately tell how they will respond to her coaching.

She can identify the person she will have to metaphorically pin to get them to listen.

And she knows the person she can help develop their own awareness through real-time corrections.

This ability to read people quickly came after her own leadership lesson on the mat.

Richard Strozzi-Heckler holds an embodied leadership class that leverages simulations and principles from martial arts.

Lessons on the mat help identify the challenges you are facing off the mat.

While in a spacious dojo, Susan took part in a Randori.

She was to cross the dojo while multiple attackers came at her from different directions.

This exercise highlights the need for setting boundaries or creating boundaries to manage your emotions, physical space and mindset.

Normally in a Randori, you would strategically navigate the space to maintain the most advantageous position, often by throwing attackers that came your way.

Because this was a simulation, Susan either had to avoid her attackers or touch them on their shoulder to direct them away from her.

When the Randori began, Susan immediately found 20 people coming at her from all directions, as if she was navigating a crowded sidewalk in New York.

She tried to slither by them, but quickly found herself touching each person.

Before she realized it, she was backed in the corner with no way out.

The instructor said “You touched every person in here. How is this showing up in your business?”

Have you ever had a moment where you suddenly see what you did wrong?

That was Susan at that moment.

Susan immediately recognized where she could make shifts to spend her time differently.

She realized she was touching too many things herself that could shift to others.

The more she touched, the less she was able to be strategic.

Immediately she stopped returning calls from people not interested in services, only wanting to “pick her brain.”

She created an intake form to gather information and assess who she should speak with.

Her assistant took on answering her customer service emails and handling joint ventures.

Susan’s time was focused on where she was best: working with her clients and producing thought leadership.

Susan shared this story with me a few weeks after my talk moved to TED.com.

I was inundated with messages through my website and social media.

Some were inquiries about my advisory, training, and speaking.

Others were lovely compliments and personal messages about the stories that touched listeners.

There were many requests for free speaking and consulting.

Then there were people that wanted to give me feedback, mansplain my stories to me (yes, really), and even tell me my stories were wrong.

Susan read me correctly in 30 seconds.

I was never going to cross the dojo if I touched each one.

Many didn’t warrant a response.

I’ve always been great about setting boundaries and priorities.

And they were evolving - it was time to make a shift.

As you level up, you have to recalibrate your priorities and focus.

What worked before may no longer serve you and can often distract from or prevent growth.

I had to revisit my priorities and values so I could cross the dojo.

Susan’s story helped me regroup, weigh where my attention goes and where I rely on other people and systems for help.

It has helped me make shifts in the clients I work with and how I bring my best to help them achieve meaningful results.

It’s a constant calibration to figure out what not to touch and how to deftly cross the room.

Whether you ride a Peloton in your basement, take a bootcamp class outside, practice yoga through online classes, cook a meal, or go for a run or walk, notice how you talk to yourself.

The praise, critique, celebration, humor, or harshness are indicative of how you approach life off the mat.

Want to level up and have breakthroughs?

Start here.

What no longer serves you?

What can you eliminate?

What shifts do you need to make in your values from the past 19 months?

What are the things you no longer want to carry forward?

What can you touch less so you can navigate the space and anticipate things better?

Leaders are great at starting things, and often terrible at missing what should be tweaked or stopped.

Both Leaders and teams should regularly pause and reflect on this.

Where are you spending time and attention that is ineffective?

What is stopping you from crossing the room?

When are you touching too many people or things?

What should you stop doing?

Where can you leverage help?

Get clear about who you touch and what you need to do so you can cross the dojo unencumbered.

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