Me And My Shadow

Joanna was a rock star. Give her a gnarly task and it would always be done well and with a smile. She was highly organized, wonderfully creative and had excellent follow through. She was an encouraging, positive leader that everyone enjoyed working with because of her enthusiasm. Rick, her leader, loved her for this. He was great at generating ideas, but not at following through and bringing them to life. He loved handing off his thinking to Joanna to bring into reality.

Every time she did, he got a lot of recognition for the idea. He wasn’t necessarily taking credit for her work, but he also wasn’t mindful of sharing the spotlight. It was almost as if they were in a play. Joanna was the stage manager, ensuring everything came off smoothly. Every lighting cue, line delivered and crescendo of music was perfectly timed due to her work. Rick was the actor onstage – the lead. He relied on Joanna to pull everything off. She made him a better actor. Both wouldn’t be successful without the other person, but one got much more credit and spotlight than the other.

Joanna could have been the one onstage instead of standing in the shadows of the wings. The challenge was that Rick loved the spotlight. Who wouldn’t? It was where he was at his best. He loved the attention and reinforcement for his ideas. Each time he stepped into the spotlight, he cast a shadow on Joanna. He took up space that prevented her and others from moments in the spotlight. Rick never stopped to ask Joanna what role she wanted in the play. He just assumed that because she was such a good stage manager, she enjoyed the work and was fulfilled. It never occurred to him that she may want to have some onstage moments. Until she quit.

Joanna wanted more. She was a strong leader and realized her career would never grow while standing in the wings supporting others. She wanted and needed more onstage moments to take on the leadership roles she wanted. She felt the best step was to create a new beginning where she wasn’t defined as a stage manager, but as an onstage actor.

She wanted onstage moments and to be able to use them to pull other interested actors on stage, even if to deliver one line.

Each time you speak first, take charge, claim something as a leader…you are casting a shadow.

You are taking up space that someone else could and possibly should fill. Leaders that always speak first end up creating a situation of learned helplessness on their teams. Team members stop bringing their ideas forward. People don’t ask themselves “What do I think?” because they know the leader will speak first with the go-forward idea. This presumes (and falsely assumes) the leader is the smartest person in the room. When in reality, it is the diverse perspectives of a team that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts.

There are absolutely times where a leader should be center stage and casting a shadow. But if your default is to always hold that role, recognize that most things don’t grow in the shadows. If you want others to grow, you have to create moments to get them into the light. Just because people are quiet doesn’t mean that they don’t have ideas. People are also quiet when they don’t feel their idea is valued or it isn’t worth the effort to bring it forward. Or they assume that space is reserved for someone else.

What happens if you don’t speak first? Don’t try to solve the situation first? Allow others to lead with their perspectives and ideas? It may feel uncomfortable or even trigger a fear of a loss of control. But sometimes leading isn’t about having all the answers or controlling the conversation. It is also about gathering people at the right time. Creating the right environment. Asking the right questions. Setting the expectation that everyone must weigh in. Stepping back and allowing teammates to have some constructive conflict and not step in to solve it yourself. Pointing out to other leaders where they need to share the spotlight. And in some cases, making the decision to put someone new onstage to give them the spotlight for a scene. Leadership isn't what you accomplish. It is what you accomplish through and with others. 

One of the benefits from hearing from others speak first is you get to hear each person's perspective. You can hear their mindset: what they are excited by or struggling with. This is all key to understand to help build momentum in a direction. You can see how to best support or challenge an idea. All that insight is lost when you speak first.

Joanna had been typecast in a role she couldn’t escape. By going to a new company, she was able to define her onstage moments and be intentional about her shadow. She was able to put her areas of untapped potential front and center. She continued to grow as a rock star and a leader. It also forced Rick to change. He was no longer able to rely on his stage manager. He had to interact with his team differently. Give more people time and space to have a voice and step on stage. Learn to speak last and ask for other’s perspectives. And become mindful of where he cast his shadow.

Every leader casts a shadow. The question is, how aware are you of your shadow? Are you intentional on where you cast it?  How can you plan when and how you can pull others into the spotlight?

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