Say The Quiet Part Out Loud

I was recently coaching Jackson, a senior executive preparing for an important interview. His predecessor was retiring, and Jackson was interviewing for the role. As we talked through his strategy, he voiced his biggest concern:

“We’re all obviously qualified to do the job. I worry that being the internal candidate actually works against me. The interview panel doesn’t really get to see me in action. I’ve played a background role in many of our previous interactions, deferring to my boss. They’re looking for fresh ideas and evolution beyond my boss’ approach. I have ideas to move us forward, but I’m concerned I’m lumped in with him. I need to convince them I’m the best person for the role when they may already have their minds made up.”

“Perfect,” I said. “That’s exactly what you need to lean into. I want you to address your disadvantages directly. Don’t avoid them.

“Part of your story might sound like: ‘In our previous interactions, you didn’t know me as the leading voice in the room. I often played a supporting role. Today, my goal is to help you understand who I am as a leader, what I bring, and how I see the organization moving forward.’

“The goal is to shape how they understand you. If you don’t, they’ll fill in the gaps themselves. This is your chance to influence how they see you.”

***

Jackson’s instinct to avoid his disadvantages is universal. We all have moments in our story that we’d love to fast-forward through. The gap in a resume. A project that isn’t going as planned. An idea we’re pitching when we know there’s resistance. Our instinct is to quietly move past these moments and hope no one notices.

Don’t.

People naturally make assumptions. We fill in gaps subconsciously, based on our own experiences. The problem is that everyone fills those gaps differently. You have no control over the story they construct unless you help shape it. Skip over what needs addressing, and you lose control of the narrative.

When you avoid talking about something, your energy shifts from communicating clearly to withholding information. You hedge, gloss over details and soften language. You spend the energy that should go into your message on protecting yourself instead. The result is a flatter, less engaging message.

Instead of dancing around these moments, lean into them. Build the understanding you want people to walk away with.

Say the quiet part out loud.

***

Renee is a college student who recently applied to a health services graduate program. We worked together on her essays. One prompt asked how DEI would impact her patient care. Given how charged the term has become, she wasn’t sure how to approach it.

I encouraged her to start with the controversy. She opened by acknowledging that DEI is a loaded phrase and means different things to different people. Then she defined what it means to her: ensuring every patient feels seen, heard, and receives care tailored to their specific background and needs. She explained how that perspective would shape the way she listens to patients, asks questions, and makes treatment decisions. By naming the tension instead of avoiding it, she gave a clearer, more authentic answer that demonstrated both awareness and conviction.  

Meredith is a nurse lobbying for legislative change for living wills in her state. She testified before a state legislative committee that included known opponents of the bill. Instead of ignoring their arguments, she acknowledged them directly: “Opponents of this bill are concerned that patients may be pushed into end-of-life decisions before they’re ready. But the data shows the opposite. Families often override living wills and DNR orders, pushing medical professionals to do everything possible to revive patients against their documented wishes. By saying the quiet part out loud, she disarmed resistance and gained the support needed to move the bill forward.

***

Here are a few examples of how to say the quiet part out loud:

A project that isn’t going as planned

Everyone encounters situations at work that don’t unfold as you hoped. Maybe a project stalled or data tells an uncomfortable story. This isn’t the moment for success theater—pretending everything is fine.

Say it directly:

“This project hasn’t progressed as expected. Here are the challenges we’ve encountered, what we learned from them, and what we’re doing differently going forward.”

Pitching an idea with known opposition

When you know there’s opposition, name it.

“Those who oppose this raise concerns about X. We’ve seen the opposite. Here’s what it looks like and how we’re addressing the risk.”

A gap in your resume

Instead of hoping no one notices or waiting for it to be brought up, address it briefly yourself.

When giving the high-level overview of your career in response to the question, “Tell me about yourself,” briefly mention the gap:

“After that role, I took time to care for a family member. That pause also gave me clarity about what I wanted next. I’m seeking (insert description of what you want) in my next role, which is what brings me here.”

You don’t need to over explain. You just need to own the narrative.

Being laid off

People will ask why you’re looking for a new role. There’s no shame in saying you were impacted by a layoff.

Handle this the same as a gap in your resume. When asked, “Tell me about yourself,” briefly mention the layoff:

 “In my last role, I (brief description). My company went through a restructuring and eliminated my role/department. It wasn’t performance-based. It’s given me the opportunity to be intentional about where I can add the most value next.”

Interviewing when you sense there is a preferred candidate

“I recognize that you may already have a strong candidate in mind. My goal today is to help you clearly understand how I think, how I lead, and the value I bring, so you can make the best decision with the fullest picture.”

 ***

The goal isn’t success theater

It’s clarity.

When you say the quiet part out loud, you own the narrative and strengthen your position. You are building an understanding in people’s minds replacing guesswork with clarity. You give people a story they don’t have to invent.

And in moments that feel risky, uncomfortable, or exposed, that honesty is often the very thing that earns trust.