How to Overcome Public Speaking Fear (And Stop Going Blank Onstage)
You are in the middle of giving a presentation when your mind goes blank. Frantically, you will your brain to remember what comes next and nothing emerges. You look at the audience, take a deep breath, and start again. But as you hit the same spot, the same thing happens. Right before you run offstage, you wake up in a cold sweat and realize was a bad dream.
People have a big fear of public speaking. Ironically, it’s not the speaking part that makes them tremble. It’s the anticipation of their mind going blank and not having anything to say. Just the thought of it triggers feelings of embarrassment and failure.
Speaking in front of others is inherently vulnerable, whether in person, onstage, in a small group, or over a webcast. You “feel” everyone’s eyes on you, which makes your brain say, “Something’s wrong here!” Your brain notices everyone’s eyes are focused in a different direction than yours and says, “Wait, we’re missing something here! We may be in danger!” Cortisol and adrenaline are released to help you focus and prepare to escape potential danger. These are the “nerves” you feel when you’re about to speak.
Sometimes those nerves increase to the point where they impact your thinking. It becomes hard to think easily. Speaking also becomes more challenging when you’re amped, haven’t practiced, or didn’t get enough sleep the night before.
Here's the good news, You’ve already blanked and survived. Think of those moments when you are talking to a friend, and you lose your place. You say, “I forgot what I was talking about,” and you both laugh as they remind you. You’ve been speaking in meetings and have three points to make but forget the third. You say, “I forgot my last point, come back to me.” In a restaurant, the waiter is taking orders and your mind refuses to remember your meal selection. You grab the menu while saying, “Start at the other end of the table and come back to me.” These moments happen all the time, and we move through them with ease. The same can happen in a presentation.
First, accept that it will happen. It happened to me – I wrote about it in the chapter in The Perfect Story on Vulnerability and Storytelling. Not only did I survive, but I’m also better for it! Hoping it won’t happen only makes the fear loom large. Without a plan, you’re forced to react. Accept this will happen and have a plan.
Chris Do recently shared a story with me of a speaker blanking onstage (stay tuned for our podcast episode, it was in my top three favorites that I’ve ever recorded!). Mid-presentation her mind went blank. She started again and the audience cheered her on. The second time the same thing happened in the same spot. She restarted a second time. The audience cheered her on but started to grow uncomfortable for her. The third time she blanked in the same spot and walked offstage, ending the talk. You could feel the discomfort in the audience – not because she blanked, but because she quit. They knew that would haunt her, and it made them uncomfortable.
A great talk isn’t one where you speak eloquently without stumbling. It creates a connection and shared energy, making your audience feel good. Stumbling, pausing, or losing your place makes you more authentic and relatable. Walking offstage was the worst thing this woman could do for herself and the audience. It happened because she never planned for it.
Here’s what we are not going to do: We are not going to give up and leave the stage, exit the conversation, or close the web meeting. If you do that, you are only setting yourself up for torturing yourself 11 years from now as you lie away at 1 a.m., replaying the time you blanked and left the talk. We are going to recover for ourselves and the audience. Here’s how:
Don’t panic. The hard part in these moments is that your brain’s first response is, “SEE! I told you something isn’t right here!” and often leads to even more neurochemicals being released. Pause, collect your thoughts, and know you have options.
Acknowledge that your mind blanked and ask for a moment. Say to the audience “I’m experiencing the public speaking nightmare…I just lost my place. Give me a moment to collect my thoughts.” Audiences will respond the same way your friends do. Then they wait patiently for you to collect your thoughts. They may even applaud and cheer you on.
Ask the audience: Where did I leave off? The audience is your ally. They don’t want to see you fail or leave your talk mid-way. They aren’t judging you. After you’ve acknowledged what happened, ask for their help in reminding you what you were saying. Often that interaction creates a shift in your brain and helps you remember.
Have notes in the wings. Plan for these moments. Place your outline or notes so you can consult them if can’t recall anything. Say to the audience “I’ve lost my place, give me one moment to check my notes.” The audience doesn’t care that you’ve blanked, they care that you recover. They will patiently wait.
Plan scenarios as part of your presentation preparation. What will you do if the technology fails, and slides or audio can’t be shared? What if you lose your place? Where can you put notes? For each section of your talk, what will you go to next if you blank and restarting doesn’t help? Strategizing what you will do before this happens. Respond with a plan, don’t coerce your brain to think of new things in reaction mode.
Put your fears of blanking aside because you’ve already done it and survived! Next time you are planning a presentation, dedicate time not only to practicing the content, but navigating the sound of silence.
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