How Do I Lay Someone Off With Compassion?
If you’ve landed on this page, you are a hiring manager facing an unenviable task.
The article below provides tips to help you prepare for and deliver the news. I have created a toolkit of resources to help your impacted employee.
My free Job Search Guide can take them through:
Determining priorities for your next role
Optimizing your LinkedIn Profile
Refreshing your resume
Identifying stories for your interviews
Telling stories in your interviews
Leveraging questions to understand the company culture
Access the job search guide for free and share with employees.
This is a part of a series addressing the hard questions from leading during this time. The questions are hard because there isn't one right answer, but there are definitely wrong ones.
This is not HR guidance. If you do have to lay someone off, your HR organization will likely provide you with instructions, severance package information and possibly even suggested language. Much of that will be focused on the process. Bring compassion into the process!
How do I lay someone off with compassion?
Laying someone off is one of the worst parts of being a leader. Especially when it is part of a downsizing. It is something that likely keeps you awake and night, and it should. A lay off not only impacts the individual, it impacts the family, the remaining team members and the manager. There are ways to lay someone off with compassion and dignity, even if done virtually.
Preparing for the Discussion
Plan a private conversation.
The layoff should be a private conversation with the individual and HR. Don’t do group layoffs – that is the opposite of compassion. You will likely be coached to request a meeting with the impacted employee last minute to minimize suspicions. As soon as the impacted employee receives the invite for the meeting, s/he will likely suspect something is up. That suspicion will be confirmed once joining the meeting and seeing the HR person also attending. Recognize if this is done virtually, the impacted employee may not have privacy. They may be at home and have family that can overhear the discussion. Make sure you have a private space where you won’t be interrupted. When using video, make sure no one will show up on your screen in the background.
Schedule this in the first half of the week.
This allows the person time to connect with other colleagues and process the information. It also allows you to connect with your team. If you do this on a Friday, it can have a stronger negative impact on the impacted employee and the team.
Prepare the facts.
Assuming the layoff isn’t performance related and is due to economic challenges, you should be prepared to share the facts of the layoff. The impacted employee may want to know why s/he was selected, who else was selected and how the decisions were made. Be prepared to list the facts of the layoff.
Gather all the benefits the employee will receive.
Have a detailed list of anything that will be provided to the employee including outplacement, severance, healthcare benefits, and vacation payout. Are you prepared to provide a recommendation for the employee? Do you have colleagues in your network where you can make introductions? Think through what you can commit to do to help the employee before you are in the conversation.
Plan out what you will say.
You want to be clear and concise in your message. Prepare to answer questions the employee may have. What happens to projects? How are laptops, badges and equipment returned? How can s/he pick up belongings? Will s/he be able to say goodbye to coworkers? When will coworkers be notified? You may want to practice the conversation with the HR partner and prepare for a variety of reactions and responses.
Prepare your mindset.
Your role during the discussion is to inform the impacted employee compassionately. Even in situations where the employee wants to be laid off, the news can be startling and disruptive. Your intent should be to help the person process the news as best possible. None of the discussion should be about you. It should all be focused on the person and how to best set him or her up for success going forward.
Informing the Impacted People
Look directly at the camera/person.
If you are doing this virtually over a web camera, look directly at the camera when you speak. This will help the impacted employee feel like you are looking him/her directly in the eye. If you look down on the screen to where their image displays, you look like you are avoiding eye contact and being disrespectful.
Don’t make small talk.
Don’t say “This is something every manager hates to do” or refer to how hard this is for you. This time isn’t about you, it is about them. Both you and the HR person should join the call five minutes early. Neither you nor the HR person should be waiting for someone to show and make fake small talk with the employee. Begin with a clear sentence that lets the employee know the role is eliminated and when it is effective. Something like, “I’m sorry, I have some difficult news. Effective this Friday, we are terminating your job.” Pause a moment to let that sink in. Reassure the employee it wasn’t due to poor performance; it wasn’t his or her fault and that economic conditions led to the layoff.
Recognize they may not hear anything after “We are terminating your job.”
Make space for emotions. The employee may show anger, frustration, shock or sadness. S/he may not say anything. S/he may shake his or her head. S/he may cry or laugh. S/he may be mad and make comments that after the years of service given, this is the treatment received. S/he may challenge you saying the layoff wasn’t performance related … that it obviously was if s/he is laid off and others are not. Give the impacted employee a safe space to express emotions and react. Don’t rush the person or say what s/he should be feeling.
Explain what they can expect and when.
Review the severance, health benefits, vacation pay out, outplacement and anything that will be received as part of the termination – as well as the timing. Let the impacted employee know when log-ins will be cut off. If you are terminating immediately, provide a way to remove personal items in email and on the computer. While you don’t want employees to take IP, you should also give them the chance to download any personal files they may have on their computer. Give people the ability to process the information, gather personal items and say goodbye to colleagues. Not doing so only decreases the trust of remaining employees.
Be prepared to repeat or clarify.
The impacted employee may ask you to confirm the layoff wasn’t performance related or detail the benefits with severance again. S/he may not have heard anything after you telling them you are ending their job. Express that you know s/he may have questions that come up after this conversation. Explain who to reach out to (e.g. job related to manager, benefits/severance to HR). Provide the email addresses and phone numbers of each in information packets.
Do not give false hope.
Thank the employee for his/her contributions. Reinforce the employee isn’t to blame for the layoff. Do not make references to possibly being able to bring the employee back unless you are 100% certain that will be possible and have a confirmed start date. You want the person to know what is final and prepare him or her best to move forward. Share where you will offer help personally. Explain how you will make an introduction(s) (and to whom), write a recommendation on Linkedin or provide a positive referral for future jobs. Talk about when you will check-in with the impacted employee. Get contact information for the impacted employee and repeat the next steps the employee can expect.
Tell the Team
Gather your team.
Just like the employee likely knew something was up by the unexpected meeting request, the team will likely know as well. They may hear rumors of layoffs. They may have already heard from the employee. Or they have sleuthed the meeting invite to see the employee not included on it.
No small talk.
Just like you did with the employee, don’t make small talk and don’t make the conversation about you. Let the group know that impacted employees were just informed their jobs were being terminated. Let them know when the termination takes effect and how the company will support the impacted employee. Employees will want to know if there will be more layoffs. Don’t rush the conversation or avoid any questions. Be transparent in what you know and don’t know. Tell people when the layoff is complete so they don’t have to wonder if more people will be notified.
Make space for conversation.
These are likely friends and colleagues of the impacted employee. They will likely cycle through shock, concerned for the impacted employee, and wondering about their own job. They will wonder how the workload with shift. They may be concerned about the future of the organization or company. They will be processing the loss of the regular communication with a friend.
Encourage connection.
People may ask if they can reach out to the employee. Encourage people to reach out to the impacted employee. Share his/her email/phone if the impacted employee agrees with it.
Trust will be impacted.
Layoffs already impact the trust in the team, leader and organization. Employees that don’t trust their leaders stop sharing their opinions or constructive challenge, they lack motivation and take a big hit to engagement.
Communicate and connect.
The best way to minimize this is to have regular communications with the team, even before layoffs are known. Leaders that avoid communicating, discourage discussion or addressing of concerns only dig themselves into an unrecoverable trust deficit. Connect with employees individually. Take the time to understand their concerns and questions. Help them process and move to a better place.
Layoffs are taxing to everyone: the impacted employee, remaining team and the leader. Everyone remembers this time, how they felt and how they were treated. Make space to prioritize the time you will need to help guide everyone through the process. While you may lose sleep, take extra care of your resilience and wellness during this time.
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Karen Eber is an author, TED and keynote speaker, and communication strategist who works with frontline leaders, senior executives, and C-suite teams at Fortune 500 companies. She partners with teams across sales, marketing, communications, HR, finance, operations, legal, and IT. She works across industries including healthcare, technology, financial services, manufacturing, energy, consumer goods, retail, professional services, education, and nonprofits — helping leaders turn complex information into clear, compelling stories that drive decisions and action. She is the author of The Perfect Story. Learn more about her keynotes and workshops at kareneber.com/speaking.
