The Silver Set
The importance of the stories you tell yourself
A few weeks ago, I came across a video on social media of a woman helping her parents clean out their house. They were moving into a nursing home and could only take a limited number of possessions. The daughter described how her parents felt overwhelmed and saddened as they sorted through what to donate or throw away.
Growing up, her mother’s most treasured item was the family set of silver. Anytime they were leaving the house, her mother would call out, “Lock up the house—I don’t want anyone stealing my silver!”
Days were spent polishing it to remove tarnish and keep it gleaming. Dinner guests were subtly ranked by whether they were served with the everyday utensils or “the good silver.” Had there been a fire with just a few moments to save something precious once everyone was safe, her mother would have run back inside to grab the silver.
As her parents downsized, they had to leave the silver on the curb. They couldn’t find anyone to pass it on to, nor could they take it with them. The once prized possession had become meaningless to the family. It sat on the side of the road, waiting for the first taker to define its new value. The collection of treasured items that made up their life now was meaningless until someone else assigned a new value to them.
Watching that video reminded me that our experiences and feelings are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves—and those stories shift as our values change. What feels essential today may not even make the top ten a few years from now.
Over the past year, I’ve recorded more than 130 podcast episodes. I enjoy the conversations, yet I’ve noticed that many interviews include what I consider a wasted question: “What advice would you give your 21-year-old self?” My response always surprises the hosts: I wouldn’t give any.
Have you ever met a 21-year-old eager for advice? I’m sure I received great advice at that age, but it didn’t hold any meaning until I struggled, made my own decisions, and learned from the outcomes. It’s a bit like being given driving directions—you don’t fully understand the route until you’ve driven it yourself.
Instead, I love flipping the question: What would the 21-year-old version of me think about my life today? A few years ago, a friend made major life changes to her home, job, and relationship. As we talked about it, she said, “I kept thinking that the 21-year-old version of me would have wanted a different life for me now. That thought pushed me to make changes.”
As I reflect on the past year and prepare for the next, I can’t help but think back to my 21-year-old self.
What would she be in awe of or excited about?
What would surprise her?
How might she react to the dreams or goals I’ve accomplished?
What would she think about my company and career path?
Would she be proud of who I’ve become?
How might she view my current personal and professional priorities?
Is there something she’d be disappointed to learn I let go of or stopped doing?
She might be surprised by some of the paths I’ve taken or how my priorities have shifted. She’d be delighted at how many goals I’ve realized and how they’ve evolved. She’d wonder about the silver I left behind on the roadside and what now replaces it. The dreams have evolved, but her hopes are still alive in me—they’ve just grown wiser and more resilient with time.
Some people set resolutions for the new year. Others choose a word that embodies their focus for the year ahead. This year, I’m focusing on the story I tell myself. Not to prove anything to my past self but to be intentional about how that story shapes my view of challenges, opportunities, successes, and setbacks. The story that each of us chooses to believe determines the life we create. It shapes how we see the world, interpret experiences, and understand our potential.
Here’s to the stories we’ll tell in 2025!
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