Have You Ever Donated Bone Marrow? How to Find Ideas for Stories (And Create Meaningful Connection)
Last December, I was on a long flight home from Italy after speaking to a group of business executives. The event was wonderful and energizing, but I was ready to get home and close out my year. Unfortunately, the weather didn’t cooperate, and a five-hour delay left me searching for entertainment. Tired of the in-flight movies, I stumbled upon David Sedaris on MasterClass, talking about storytelling.
I adore David Sedaris. Each of his essays brim with sardonic wit as he uncovers humor and insight into everyday moments most people overlook. His MasterClass was a stream of consciousness about how he generates ideas and writes stories.
There are two storytelling beliefs we share:
Stories are all around us—you just have to pay attention.
You won’t find stories or build rapport by asking lazy, small-talk questions.
David shared a story about his book tours in a different city each day. At every stop, people would ask, “How’s your morning going so far?” “How was your trip in?” or “Do you have any plans for the weekend?” These questions don’t invite thoughtful responses. The person asking often stops listening before you even answer.
During a cab ride in Spokane, a driver asked one of these tired questions. David responded bluntly:
“That’s a lazy question,” he said. “Why not ask, I don’t know, ‘Have you ever donated bone marrow?’
A young woman approached my signing table a few months back in Boston, and after asking her name, I hit her with the most ridiculous question I could think of. “Tell me, Jennifer, how long has it been since you last . . . touched a monkey?”
I expected ‘Never’ or ‘It’s been years,’ but instead she took a small step back, saying, ‘Oh, can you smell it on me?’”
Small talk is a social norm that rarely feels meaningful. We fill the silence with it when introduced to someone for the first time and before a meeting starts. Most of these questions are mindless and leave no room to explore. However, an unexpected question can open the door to a real conversation and connection.
David’s questions were closed-ended, requiring a yes or no response. But their unexpected nature pulls people in. A surprising or intriguing question invites curiosity, humor, and often, a story. If we want to find stories or spark memorable exchanges, then we must abandon the predictable and boring small talk and embrace the unexpected.
Here’s your challenge: Replace lazy questions with curious and quirky ones. Notice how the responses expand. Don’t get too personal with strangers—choose questions that are easy to answer without feeling invasive. Imagine the stories you’ll uncover if instead of “How’s the weather there?” we asked:
How long have you known your dentist?
Have you ever run for office?
What’s your favorite dessert?
Do you have a hidden talent?
Have you ever donated blood or plasma?
Have you ever written a fan letter to someone?
If you had to live in another country, where would it be and why?
What’s the most unusual job you’ve ever had?
Do you know anyone who’s been on reality TV?
What is the greatest sandwich?
What is something you bought and regret?
Who is the strangest neighbor you’ve had?
Have you asked for someone’s autograph?
Do you know anyone who collects something weird?
Have you ever held a sloth?
What is the oddest compliment you’ve received?
Who do people say you look like?
Do you know anyone who talks in their sleep?
Lazy questions are so 2024. Here’s to delightfully unexpected conversations of 2025.
Five Ways We Can Work Together:
Keynotes on Storytelling, Storytelling with Data, and What Story Does Your Culture Tell?
Storytelling Workshops: Storytelling and Storytelling with Data
Storytelling Coaching: For Executives & Individuals
Leadership Development Programs
Team Development Team offsites
