Tell the Stories Behind the Music
The other week I attended the TED Women conference both an attendee and a speaker. I spoke on a panel about what a disco ball has to do with company culture.
A year ago, I wrote about playing a concert in an assisted living home when I saw a disco ball in the middle of the room. That disco ball told me more about the culture there than the words on their website. It was a place where residents were encouraged to live, socialize, and have fun. I realized that if I ever end up in one of these homes, it must have a disco ball.
I don’t believe company culture begins or ends with the values hanging in the lobby or on a website. Most have some form of “Trust, Integrity, Respect, Belonging, Excellence, Honesty, Collaboration, and Customer Focused.” Including Enron, who not only didn’t demonstrate them, but it also collapsed.
What really matters is the daily experience of these values. The words mean nothing until each individual or team thinks about what they mean to them and their actions. It’s the collection of these moments that tells the true story of the culture and determines whether people choose to stay or leave.
One of the best places to discover your disco balls is through the stories told. These reinforce the things we encourage and want more of, or those things that are discouraged. Especially by leaders.
Behind the Music with Sting
A few years ago, my friend Carla was preparing for an offsite meeting with her team. It had been years since she brought them together in person due to Covid. With organizational shifts and a new strategy, she was grappling with how much she could share with her team.
This is a common concern. Many people worry about how they’ll show up as a leader and overlook how they’ll show up as a human. It’s the relatable moments that influence how you’re viewed as a leader. A story can go a long way in making you feel approachable.
I told Carla about the time I saw Sting in concert. His music was the soundtrack to my days at university. My roommate talked about Gordon Sumner so much that it was as if he lived with us. I jumped at the opportunity to see him live in concert not long after graduating.
He came out and said, “’ello” along with a curt wave and launched into the first song. He moved through each song without any discussion or banter. After the last song he said, “Goodnight” and walked offstage.
I was crushed. He had been performing for years and I’m sure he was tired of talking about his songs. But it was my first time hearing him. I wanted to hear the story behind the songs, random jokes about the band, or what they did that day. I wanted more of the person…not just the musician. The experience was no different than pressing play on a playlist.
I encouraged Carla to think about the stories behind the songs…how to show up not just as a leader, but as a human. The meeting would have the normal agenda items and updates—the equivalent of pressing play on the playlist. If she really wanted to engage the team, she needed to remember that many of them were encountering her for the first time. Sharing stories, personal anecdotes, and human moments would engage the team and create a sense of connection and trust.
These included sharing things like her thoughts on what she hoped would come out of the new vision and strategy. This would invite the team to share their perspectives and concerns. Telling the group where she had been spending her time and how she was working to grow herself would give them a better sense of her as a person. It would also demonstrate how she valued development. Sharing mistakes and what she learned might reinforce the importance of reflection and open a discussion of lessons learned without shame, embarrassment, or blame. Highlighting what she is proud of on the team could help people feel seen.
These stories become the unspoken blueprint for what is valued on the team. Getting beyond updates and sharing perspectives and stories helps employees like you’re whispering to them, “I trust and care about you enough to share this with you. I want you to see the real me, and I in turn want to see the real you.” These are the disco balls in our organization and make the story of the culture.
What are the stories behind your songs?
As you wind down the year and get ready to head into the holidays, think about what you can share with your teams. These don’t have to be stories with private details. But they should share your personal perspective. How can you help people see the human behind the leader? Can you share:
Something you are proud of this year
An unexpected lesson learned
One change you’ve made that has impacted your work/life
Things that you are watching to see if they grow into larger concerns
Something you changed your mind about
How you’re focusing your personal growth and development
What you hope for the team
Don’t just come out with the updates. Find the disco balls on your team and share more of the stories to help people understand you as a leader.
Thanks to TED For gifting copies of my book to the participants in the discussion. I love that these people who care deeply about shaping workplaces get to leverage The Perfect Story on their journeys. Thanks to the Atlanta rain for my hair. Also, how cute are these book cookies I received from my marketing team?
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