Bangers and Mash: How do You Deal with Vulnerability In Storytelling?
Photo credit: Subpar Park on Instagram
“Too many trees.”
“I’ve seen taller mountains.”
“Trees block views and there are too many gray rocks.”
Subpar Parks is a whole Instagram account dedicated to sharing the real negative reviews people leave for U.S. National Parks.
The account does this mockingly alongside beautiful drawings of the park.
Stunning places like the Smoky Mountains, Mt. Rainier, Yellowstone, or Yosemite have these negative comments.
The most likeable places in the world have somehow garnered the feedback of being not liked by a scant few.
Each time I hear someone express not wanting to tell a story for fear that others won’t like it, I love to tell them about this Instagram account.
If people can hate on a national park, odds are good there will be someone that doesn’t resonate with your story.
And that’s ok.
It can be scary to tell stories at work.
It’s vulnerable, even when not telling a personal story.
Each time I work with a client, we have to work through their fears that someone won’t like them, or they won’t tell a good story.
Spoiler alert: there are already people who haven’t like you or something you’ve done. Don’t let those few be a reason to hold you back.
For every person that writes a negative review on national parks, there are several million that write positive ones.
That doesn’t even count those who are moved by them but don’t write reviews.
Every single person has hopes, dreams, fears, concerns and realizations.
Stories help us relate to those moments and process the vulnerability.
We respond to vulnerability in others because it is authentic.
It builds empathy and trust and creates connections.
Here is the secret: storytelling isn't a one-way activity.
Your audience always plays a role in the story.
And most of the time, they are rooting for you.
They interpret stories through their own experiences and lessons learned.
And they reciprocate by sharing how the story touched them or by sharing a story of their own.
Ed and I were standing in a room full of people where he was about to speak. He was my client in the UK, and we had spent weeks working together to prepare for this moment.
He kept fidgeting with his collar, his belt, his hair… he was really uncomfortable. When I asked him what he was feeling, he said “I’m afraid they won’t like my stories or presentation.”
“Ed, if you were going to have me over to your home for dinner, what dish would you cook,” I asked?
“That’s easy, bangers and mash,” he replied.
“OK, what do you think are the odds that everyone in this room would like your bangers and mash?”
“Not very likely.”
“Of course not. Some might be vegetarian. Some may find it too salty. Others may think it isn’t salty enough. Some may want more seasoning or less. Would you take offense?”
“No, everyone has different preferences, I wouldn’t take it personally.”
“Exactly! So why can’t you apply that same mindset to this situation?”
Vulnerability doesn't require you to tell personal or private details – you determine the boundaries.
You also choose your mindset.
The most important story you tell is the one you tell yourself.
Do I experience vulnerability with storytelling?
Absolutely! But I also know the experience of the other side - having told a story.
When strangers come up and share a story in return.
Or you change someone's perspective or introduce a new idea.
And best of all, when you create connection and meaning on this wild ride of life.
It’s SO worth it.
Don't fear the vulnerability, embrace it. It will be worth it, I promise.
Don’t wait for the perfect stories. Take your stories and make them perfect.
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p.s. Click here if you want help learning how to make your leaders great storytellers or build a toolkit of stories for your culture.
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