Eventually…

This was the look on my face when I got the note from my editor and realized I was guilty.

He flagged my use of “Eventually,” in a piece I had written.

I hadn’t even realized it. But he did.

“That is cheating the audience of details,” he noted.

He was right!

Eventually, someday, finally, at last…these are connecting words.

But not descriptive ones.

They cut corners and gloss over details.

Better descriptions can be used to create more meaning and engagement.

Storytelling isn’t just about adding details.

It also involves removing things that take the audience out of the story.

Phrases like:

Let me set the scene…

Here is what happened…

Let’s call her (insert name) …

And one of my favorites,Let me tell you a story…

Each of these take the listener out of the story.

They don’t add to your story. I’d argue they detract from it.

These are filler words you use to prepare yourself to tell the story.

Describe the scene without announcing it.

Tell us what happened without preparing us or yourself.

Don’t qualify what you are going to say, just say it.

Give us a name – it’s ok if it isn’t real. We don’t know.

The audience doesn’t care what the character’s name is – just that they have one to follow along in the story.

Don’t brace us for a story.

Jumping in catches the brain’s attention.

Qualifying it with a statement about what you are preparing to tell dismisses the brain’s attention.

What is the trick for adding and removing the right amount of details to your stories?

Let your stories breathe.

You can’t create and edit at the same time.

The focus and energy you use to create is different from that which you use to edit.

One is abundance without judgment. The other is discernment.

To do that well, you need space between when you create and when you edit.

Even when preparing your stories for a presentation.

The space between creating and editing lets you catch the each “eventually” and “identify where you can eliminate filler words.

I am guilty of “eventually, finally, at least…” but you rarely see them in my stories.

Because I intentionally put space in between creating and editing stories.

Even before I send them to an editor.

Without fail, the second, third, fourth or fifth time I go through the story, I see things I missed.

And I get insights on how to rework the piece to be more impactful.

Want to see the before and after sentence for the “eventually” my editor flagged on one of my special projects?

Before

Eventually, someone recognized that the cow might be demeaning to women and cause embarrassment.

After

In the span of ten seconds, the tension in the conference room became thick. Team members squirmed in their seats with the same sudden realization: a cow may be demeaning to women and cause embarrassment.

Or maybe I will change it again.

I’m letting it breathe.

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